Never Order Food in French

(Note: For some reason the links I posted here are not showing up as URL's you can click on, so you will have to cut and paste them to see the graphics that accompany this post.)

After being in Vietnam for eight months, I was worthy of a small vacation, which we called " R and R" in the military. Where to go was the big question. On the menu was Austrailia, Tokyo, Hawaii, Hong Kong, and Bangkok, Thailand.

After mulling it over for a few days I decided to go to Hong Kong. Don't ask me why, I just don't remember why I ruled out Austrailia. Maybe it was the Hong Kong tailors that I was interested in. I remember wanting silk suits and stuff like that.

Anyway, I decided to chum around with another LDS friend from our little church group we had at our airbase. So, off we went to Hong Kong.

It was a beautiful pre-dawn morning as our little old C-47 lifted off the runway and banked towards Danang airbase, Vietnam where we could catch a passenger jet bound for HK.

Now, for those of you who don't know it, a C-47 was a plane developed in the 1930's for the US Army. It was easily 7 years older than I was. http://www.simonb6.co.uk/2002/DS-C-47-4766.jpg

Shortly after take off, the morning sunrise was visible and with Nikon in hand I snapped this photo: http://community.webshots.com/photo/51205533/51207622TGimtj We spent that night in Danang, and boarded our flight to Hong Kong.

We stayed at a nice hotel called the Empress Hotel. As we were checking in a very attractive Chinese woman clerked us. Not wanting to be disrespectful, I answered "Yes, Ma'am" or "No, Ma'am" to any questions she asked me. She seemed irritated by it, and eventually asked me to stop calling her Ma'am.

"Yes, Ma'am", I quickly responded (Oops!) She glared at me for a second, and exclaimed, "I am not a Madam!" She was right, of course. I should have known that: 1) Madam is how a married woman is addressed, in the queen's English, and afterall, I was in an English Colony-- and, 2) A Madam runs a brothel. (Doh! Leave it to an un-worldly Mormon boy to not know that!)

After a day of taking in the sights of exotic Hong Kong, (http://community.webshots.com/photo/51205533/51206280OCdfuH) we were famished. Now, being GI's, we had healthy appetites, so we wanted something good and tasty, and it not resemble anything we were eating in the Air Force. We decided to eat in the hotel's restaurant.

After seated at our table, a proper looking Chinese water attended to our needs. Complete with the towel draped over his forearm, he resembled a gentlemen's gentlemen out of some English movie. Not wanting to appear ignorant (too late for that!), I scanned the menu as if I were a professional diner."Oh, boy!", I said to my companion," it's in French!"

After a minute or so I spied one dish that said something in French, and then in English had "in butter sauce with garlic toast" Hmm! Sounds good to me.

I casually indicated with my finger the dish I wanted, and the waiter scurried off.

A few minutes later he returned with a small silver platter with seven little indentations in it. Seated in each indentation was, -to my horror- a common, ordinary, ugly garden snail. Seven of them! With buttery garlic sauce still bubbling out of their stupid little shells! (Now I knew what "escargot" means in French.)

Determined to not waste my fifteen dollars, I ate them. Now I know why the French have the attitudes they do! The only thing I can think of is during the first world war when they were starving, some fool stooped to eating these things and called it a French delicacy.

And, to answer the question: No, they were not good!